I'm going to be 30 this year and lately I've been thinking about my past pregnancies. Maybe it's because I'm finally married and am truely in love, and with this relationship will NOT come a child. I get a little indifferent about the whole thing. What can I say?
There have been two times in my life that I 've been with child. I'm one of those girls that falls in the catagory of "I HATE BEING PREGNANT!" I have quite a few reasons why let's go ahead and list them.
1. You get Fat.
2. Stretch Marks, they suck.
3. There's about a good 4 - 5 months you can't see your feet, vagina or legs.
4. In the 3rd Trimester, you have to run to the bathroom because the urge to pee is overwhelming to sit down and hear/feel drip, drip....that's it, really. I'm not joking.
5. Can't get comfortable in your own skin, sitting, standing, laying down. Nothing works.
6. Doctor visits. You and your OB get to really know each other with the experience always being on your back with your legs up. It's just very personal.
7. Peeing at the doctor's office, IN A DIXIE CUP. you haven't seen your vagina in weeks and they want you to pee in this tiny cup. And you wonder why you miss and pee on your damn hand! And haven't we established I'm pregnant, why pee in cup? ugh
8. The heart burn
9. Blood Test
10. Gestainal Diabetes Test good to know but telling a pregnant woman she can't eat, really?
11. BIRTH >>> ALL OF IT!
12. The pregnancy test: The initial "KNOWING" it is the worst 3 - 5 minutes for any woman, whether its a planned or surprise. It's a long wait, just ask any woman.
I hated being pregnant, I ended up giving birth to small babies 7 pounders so the rest of the 43 - 63 pounds I gained were ALL ME BABY! GROSS! I just get FAT, my ass and thighs become one as a THASS. My face looks like I am holding a cantalope in each of my cheeks, my arms get fluffy and I can't tell you if I had CANKLES because I could never see past my belly.
So, why get excited about the worse body transformation ever. This doesn't even include your hormones.
16 turning 17 and Pregnant >> Two words come to mind, Statistic & Dumb. In 1997 & 1998 I made it into the statstic manuels for all the pamplets that they give out in the free clinic to other teenagers. I was a stat for Navarro, The State of Texas under HISPANIC TEEN PREGNANT BETWEEN AGE OF 14 - 19. Just another number, let's face the fact it's true.
Dumb. Dumb teenager mentality. I know it all, no worries my parents will save me from everything, nothing is gonna happen to me and attitude. Well, I will tell you one thing, "If you don't tell anyone, than nobody can help you." I brought one of the biggest burdens to my family when I was pregnant so young. I feel horrible that my sisters had to deal with me and my hormonal teenage pregnant ass. I use to drink milk by the gallons DAILY. They would wake up go to get cereal for breakfast to have no milk. Once Jess went to the fridge and asked, "Didn't we have apples?" "We did but they gone." I said from the couch as I hid the other apple I had and tucked it under my shirt. She picked something else and came to sit with us in living room. I finished my apple, put the core down infront of me and pulled the other apple from my shirt. "crunch, snap" She turned around, my mouth full of juicy tart green apple. SHE WAS FURIOUS. I don't remember what she yelled at me, but to this day it makes me feel so bad. HOW COULD I BE SO SELFISH??? I'm sorry Jessenia.
Since I was young and didn't know what to expect, didn't do much reading on being pregnant cause I kinda cared but I didn't want to know. Ignorance is bliss. So, I just know that I did not like the changes to my body. I actually did not understand all of them either, once again uneducated. The only smart thing I did with my dumb actions to lead me to being a dumb teenager was give a family the ultimate gift of love. Something dumb, turned into something smart.
22 and Pregnant >> By now my friends were adding their new additions to their relatioships. I saw my best friend have the worst baby fever experience ever. When she finally did get pregnant, she went from vegetarian to eating ribs from a bone. By the time I was pregnant with my other son, I was too informed. I knew how the baby was growing inside, what to expect each and every month. Watched way too many birthing shows. I do believe that my two pregnancies did make my depression worse. I have gone unmedicated for so long that my depression gets severe with suicidal tendencies. During this pregnancy I was far away from my family and I had co-workers instead. Let's just say, I hated them and they hated me. I am a super bitch and everything upsets me. I would cry for everything and anything. Happy moments or sad, it didn't matter! I just know that this pregnancy affected my hormones than anything else.
Both of my pregnancies were at different times in my life. I think going on 30 you can still have children but with me, I believe it's just not going to be a good idea. I'm not a nice pregnant lady. I don't think its CUTE to walk around FAT!! I don't like sneezing and peeing a little bit either.
I just wanted to reflect some what on my pregnancies. I believe I have populated the earth with enough human being replacements. 2 boys. I'm done.
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