*The old man in the beginning of the song, slurring his words not giving a shit, I know that old man and his sons. Don't Mess with Texas Mother Fuckers*
I took my old man out to the Bar with me one hot summer night. I hadn't seen him in awhile and I knew that he could use some time out of the house. The phone rang twice and he picked up.
"Dad, it's me. Get ready, I am going to pick you up in 15 minutes and we are going to go see some band downtown."
"ok"
I jolted out the door, made sure I had a joint to smoke when I got to my dad's house cause that way if he gave me shit, I at least knew I could get him stoned enough for him to decided that leaving the house was a good idea. That night was alright.
We got there in time to see the last two song of the opening band play. They cleared out their shit and there was just a mic until the lead band came on stage. My dad always ready to make a fool of himself pulled out his mouth organ from his vest pocket, jumped on stage and started playing. Nobody took him off stage cause that old man was playing like he was in an auditorium full of people waiting to watch him. He played his little tune that he always plays, thanked the crowd as he introduced the band, like he was part of the show. Slurring his words, didn't even say their band name correctly. That night ended with a great show.
Several weeks later, I got their new album and holy shit, their was my father harmonica intro on the album! I looked all over the cover to see if they gave my dad props. Anything at all like "crazy old hippie at bar" "Drunk Biker playing mouth organ" any kind of credit. It was my dad, it was HIM on this album that is now being sold all over the state and nation, and there is NOTHING! Fuck that shit. I got a hold of the band leader and asked him straight out, "WHAT THE FUCK!" The singer denied, denied and denied me 3 times that my dad was not on the album and I was full of shit. Well, after that I knew I was just going to have to take care of that next time he came to play a show in town. FUCK THAT PUKE for denying my dad his rightful credit. OR even some credit for the Texas. Something is better than nothing.
Next time they were in town, the crowd was bigger but I was going to find a way to get that mother fucker on stage and beat his fucking ass. My little brother who is taller than me knew my plans for the show and insisted on coming along. Didn't bother me any. They are playing their set, I moved into the crowd, my brother hung back a few feet from me. Just enjoying the show, I guess waiting to see how I was going to pull this off. Between songs, the fucking lead singer pointed and yelled, "What are you doing here you stupid stinky hippie? Go do to the a block over and go watch the Counting crows or something." This mother fucker pointed at the wrong person, he was looking straight at my brother, who at the time had long hair. He messed with my brother, he woouldn't give my dad or Austin/Texas any kind of credit. This motherfucker messed with the wrong family.
I got close to the stage and grabbed a kid who asked me to crowd surf him. "I got one better for you, I want to kick the lead singer's ass, if i toss you up there you bring him down here or I AM GOIN TO KICK YOUR ASS!" The kid was all over it. They were screaming into the mic and the kid grabbed him around the neck and pushed him off the stage. I was there and caught him with my fist. Punched that mother fucker several times and then walked away blending in with the crowd. The lead singer stands up, gets back on stage and yells, grab the bald guy with the white muscle shirt. By then I was half way out the door shirtless with my hat on walking out with the rest of the crowd.
FLAWLESS
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