To Start off this blog with a classic music video from 1991. When I was 11 and I didn't know what sex really was, what the experience felt like and the responsibilities that came with having sex. So like they said...."Let's talk about sex."
Let's Talk about Sex By Salt n Pepa......
I have to admit, I had sex to early in life. The last day of 8th grade, yeah, too young, with someone that did not love me and I did not love him. Just so I can say that I was no longer a virgin. If I ever failed at anything in this life it was my own virginity. I should have saved it, for whom...who knows but maybe someone that actually had some true feelings for me.
Sex as a Teen. It's all fun and games but your mentally not prepared for the emotional bullshit that comes with it. If teenagers are going to have sex, they will find a way. We all know what I am talking about cause we were all teenagers once. We lied to our parents to go out with our friends, to hang out with our boyfriends and so forth. But sex was fun, maybe it was fun cause we had to sneak around to do it. Maybe it was fun cause it couldn't last very long cause we were always on a time crunch for curfew. But were we all really concerned about the "responsibilities" of it all. Who knows, we just had sex to have sex. Teenage boys can get a hard on by just looking at it, talking about it or just seeing a nipple. So they were always ready. And we don't want them to go find it some where else so what do we do as girls, put out. Cause once again, we have a new emotion of connection with them and we don't know how to handle it except by trying to keep them by putting out. So having sex as teen has mixed reviews.
And we are not talking about girls we called sluts. No matter what age there are girls out there putting out cause they find sex fun,very enjoyable and i guess know how to deal with the emotional DETACHMENT. Which is fine, to each their own.
Sex in your 20's. Some of us had racked up the experience during our teens, others are learning for the first time. But entering your 20's we are now more aware of our own bodies. Whether it is because we masturbate more and know what makes us tick or get off. Or just having several sexual partners that have done it and those that didn't. Our communication gets better with our sexual partners. Whether your single or taken we decide that this whole sex has to just as pleasurable to us as it is for them. We know that if we move this way, it gets us off. If he does that one thing to the left that ruins the whole fucking thing. Communication is the key the key to a fantastic sex life but we don't understand that as teenagers. We are still embarrassed about our bodies, in our 20's we understand that we might not be models but damn it this is what we have to work with and the men can take it or leave it. Cause if they don't want it, we can and will find someone that does or we can go home by ourselves and take care of business on our own. Now I am assuming that women have explored masturbation and have made it a point to find what pleasures them. Cause if you can't have sex with yourself and get you off then how are you suppose to instruct men on how you work. Now the emotional part of sex during your 20's has hopefully gotten better. Meaning you are either know how to put it aside when you know its gonna be a one night stand or you know that this man you have been seeing is gonna be a good lover and call you back the next day. We know that sex is always complicating no matter what but you want it to be fun if your going all the way with it. And as your older you have been a little more educated about the risks involved with having protected sex or unprotected sex. Not just the pregnancy scares but the STD's that might not be curable with a shot. Cause if you catch a disease that there is no cure for then your sex life will become more complicated then you would have liked. Meaning always having to tell your future sexual partners about your STD. And that is a hard truth to swallow. In 20's your more likely to go to a clinic to get yourself checked as well as get some protection, birth control as well as picking up some condoms for that dude you have been eyeballing at the club and your planning to take home. ;) As a little bit more of an experienced woman, you are still trying to find how to make sex work for you.
Sex in your 30's. Some of us have had children by then and it makes our whole sex life turn upside down. You are either in a committed relationship or your still single playing the field. There is a lot of factors that have changed since you were in your 20's except one thing. You still want to have sex and make it enjoyable for you. Some of us are working on our careers, others family and yet others are still trying to find a guy that doesn't suck and all he wants is sex.
The ones working on our careers might find that sex is the last topic on your minds or maybe the first, depends on the type of woman you are. Some women like to have financial stability of not needing someone else and sleep our way to the top. Which is not how you get there, being a bitch is the way of getting to the top. HA. Professional single woman find themselves buried in their career and might space the sex factor. I am assuming these woman just don't have the time to go out and look for a sexual partner. But I hope these women are taking care of their own selves by self pleasuring themselves. ;) Cause the best way to relieve stress is to organism and kick back, even if it is for a few minutes. It cleared your mind, your worries were gone for a few minutes and your body has just been filled with endorphins that made you happy and send good vibes through out your brain. The single women in their 30's are just trying to find a partner that is not in it for sex. They aren't trying to play games, they don't need one nighter's, they don't want to deal with more dumb daddy drama (for those who are single mommas). I believe we all want to have a meaning full sex life. Or at least a reliable friend with benefits that is NOT married, that is NOT a scumbag and that is going to understand what the relationship you have signed up for.
Busy 30 year old moms. They run around taking care of business. Up at 6 am getting ready, getting the kids out the house, the husband to work, getting this, getting that, going here, going there, doing this, doing that, work, school (whether going to school for yourself or events for the kids), making dinner, cleaning house, doing laundry....... and when its time for bed your exhausted. You would love to have sex but hell where are you going to find the energy for that? Drink a 5 hour energy? Who has time for 5 hours worth of sex? ha ha ha And then you get in bed and your partner is all in the mood but doesn't want to take the time to get you into it. And your past communicating with your partner that you are not turned on when he turns to you and asked "Do you want to suck my dick?" And you think.... "I have been up since 6 am, running around doing shit, no I don't want to add suck your dick to my to do list tonight, eat me!"
Then we don't wanna find the time for you either pal. Or maybe you have a "sex date" with your partner but you have to pump yourself up all day for this date. Cause its not the fact that you don't want to have sex but your mind and body just isn't that into it. Your libido is missing and you wish it wasn't but it is. You find your partner super attractive but your just not feeling it. You would love to have sex but the kids might wake up, your tired or just plain not in the mood. Or you have sex cause you are ready but you just can't find yourself being able to get into the moment and don't organism. You can't just concentrate on the task at hand, you feel bad but its just not there. So why even go that far if you know that your more worried about making 50 stupid cupcakes for the Valentine's day party for you kiddo and can't focus on your own needs or your partner's needs. And when you are in the mood, its in the middle of the day everyone is gone, or asleep but you would rather just watch t.v, get online or do nothing cause its your moment of peace and quiet. So there went the window of opportunity. I mean even if you surprised your partner at work and gave them the wink would they be all over it or just too busy right now baby, maybe tonight? NO not tonight, right fucking now! ha
Some of us would love to find the time, energy and want again. The want to have a sexual experience but just can't find it within ourselves. And sometimes this does lead to broken personal relationships with our partners. And that can just be the worst part, cause you want to have sex but it just went missing. And looking for someone else later to have sex with and get naked in front of is just a horrifying thought all on its own. Maybe we just don't want to have sex, maybe we want to make love more often?
What is in store for us in the 40's? Children in the house are older or gone living their own lives. No matter what your status is how will sex be? Your older, your body is older and will sex be just as enjoyable, will your urges come back or fade away. Face it we are not dead and sex is a part of life. We all love it, we all want some but after dealing with all the emotional strains from our teens, learning what we like in our 20's, our 30's were wasted cause we had other shit to worry about or just found that it was placed on a shelf. How does that effect our sex lives in our 40's? Is it a myth or fact that women experience sex in a different light when we get older?
As my friends and I are getting older I know that we will always talk about sex. Whether it is good, bad or just missing from our to do list. I just hope we can all find ourselves sexually satisfied.
Or maybe I am full of shit and everyone else is having great sex. I am left to feel like there is something personally wrong with me and my libido?
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