Your Own Identity.....

Everyone always has a time in their lives where they are lost. Who am I? Who do I want to be when I grow up? What kind of person do I want to be?


These questions we battle with ourselves as we grow into our awkward stages in our lives. Pre-Teen and than our teenage years, we just don't know who we are.


But as an adult, can you really still have that same excuse?
Let me give you a for instance, I know this one "man" that has made a name for himself for being a rich spoiled kid that loathes himself so much that he still does not know who he is. He despises another man so much that he is following in that man's foot steps. So, he can't find his own identity that he decides he wants emulate what he loathes and hates the most. Get your own identity. If you don't like someone so much why would you want to turn into that person, the one man you claim to hate with your whole soul. Isn't imitation the best form of flattery? And when you are turning into that person you hate some much, does that mean you are still having an identity crisis with your own self. You already hate yourself so much are going to hate yourself some more? What sense does that make.


But as adults sometimes we still don't know, "What we want to be when we grow up." Which is okay in some instances because we are always working on the path to make our lives better for ourselves and our families. As long as you find something that makes you happy then your identity will come in time. Everyone has several titles in our lives, but the one title that makes you happy will bring you joy in your life. Giving you the identity you seek......


~ Gypsy Knowles ~

Double Standards in the Words of Gypsy

I always try to start my blog with a definition. So we can all read what the world around us says something is.

standard applied unfairly: a principle, rule, or expectation that is applied unfairly to different groups, one group usually being condemned for the slightest offense while the other is treated far more leniently

There are several double standards race, creed, age. I am going to reflect the one of men and women.

I am going to just be a little vague on this. Its stuff we all know is still happening in the world around us but I just want to vent a bit or just make a casual Gypsy Observation.

Topic 1: Motorcycles and Women
As women we are "suppose" to just stay behind our husband's on THEIR BIKES and ride with them. NOT own our own BIKES or even RIDE along beside our husbands either. I am a passenger on my husband's bike. I am the normal, boring, traditional biker bitch that lets my husband do all the work and I get hang on to him and just enjoy the ride. BUT, cause there is always a BUT......
I have a good friend of mine who knew this double standard was going to show itself sooner or later, as so it did. She not only has a motorcycle, she has her own Harley. It's a big bike with a big motor but she has a beautiful butt that needed a little support. (Love ya, KR!) She was not going to ride beside her husband on a sportster, as I put it to her, "like as if you were riding a thong with a wheel" Its just would not have been a good look. The double standard that she shouldn't even own her motorcycle makes us chuckle. She has gotten the speech from older women riders and few biker men on their two cents about how she should just be behind her man, not next to him. She has received the "How dare you have your own bike & ride it too" glare. She takes it with a grain of salt and gets on her bike when she can escape her loving girls she calls Demons and runs small errands on her bike. And you know why she does it? BECAUSE she can! She can go riding to the store if she wants without her husband, with HER bike and with her own knees in the breeze. I respect her for trying to break that double standard on women on bikes cause no matter what year it is, sometimes you can't break BIKERS from their way of thinking. I believe in that tribe that double standard will exist till the end of time.

Topic 2: Phone calls.
Now this one can get a little ugly because men and women feel like when they call their significant other, you better be Johnny on the FUCKING spot with that send button. If your loved one is calling you better have a good damn excuse on why you didn't pick it up sooner then the third ring. And even though you love that person on the other end, you just feel like when you call they must not be doing anything important cause your not, your calling them your not busy so by all means they should not be busy either. (super long run on sentence but so is your mind when it is going on the 4th ring & one more it goes to voicemail) But who's excuse is better? This is where the double standard gets a little vague, I would say.
Lets just throw some examples out there, of what kind of excuses on why we (Penis & Vagina) can not answer our phones or text in a timely manner that satisfies our other half's.

Ex1: I didn't know you called I was busy at work.
Ex2: I am sorry I didn't answer I had screaming kids in the car/house/tub that were taking up my attention
Ex3: I worked really hard today and just fell asleep.
Ex4: I went to the bathroom, put my cell down two minutes tops, and you happen to call when I am taking a dump. (I knew I should have taken cell into bathroom, where some of us have lost our phones by dropping them into the toilet after a flush of course)
Ex5: I was on the road or driving and texting is now illegal.
Ex6: I just stepped away from my cell.

I mean these are all valid excuses given to one partner to another. But we the partners are just suppose to be like, "oh okay, cool." No instead we can receive & give comments like the following.

Ex1: You got off 2 hours ago, I know your ass can't hear the cell when your at the bar.
Ex2: Why were they screaming?
Ex3: You couldn't call me to let me know you went to bed. (Yes, sounds dumb but when your mad, you say dumb shit)
Ex4: You take the cell all the other times you go to the bathroom and you answer everyone else right away.
Ex5: I know your ass texts and drives all the time, pull the fuck over.
Ex6: Who the hell just steps away from their cell?

So, next time you call your partner in crime just try to be a little more considerate. Cause just because you are not busy....does not mean they aren't dealing with minor meltdowns, traffic or just plain potty breaks. It's just such a double standard that if you are making the money in the household than the one that just stays at home is playing Peggy Bundy on the couch. That shit was NOT real, there are so many variables on who and what is going on around at home. Housewives need to remember that the rest of the world has real jobs and sometimes your man is busy at work.
BUT both parties need to remember to fucking chill and not get upset. And I do mean BOTH PARTIES, I am not picking sides because I have been known to get all crazy for not answering. ha ha ha....shhhh was that my phone going off?

Well, I have said my peace on this for now. I mean the double standards will exists. We can try to not let them bother us and that makes us better people. Some things will never change but others just might. Who knows...... (shit where did I put my cell? ha ha)

Added: July 10, 2011: Fuck the double standard. I guess we all have to live in relationships that it is either one way but not another. Whatever is good for the Goose, is not the same for the Gander. Whatever Daddy wants to do, its okay he can do it cause he makes more money then the wife. So the wife just needs to shut the fuck up and do as she is told. I hate double standards, what a bunch of malarkey.

Thank you and good night.

**Written by Gyspy Knowles
***Side note: Its late and I am tired.

Las Chismosas

Several years ago one of my Tias gave me a necklace with two Indian ladies sitting with their backs towards me. She had just come back from living in New Mexico, she loved the piece and it was gifted to me. I loved that necklace, I believed it was two sisters going at it with "The Chisme" of all those around them. I have sisters and when we get together for my coffee and my youngest sister pumpkin or banana bread, let the fun begin.



We are all guilty of the Chisme or gossip. Who isn't? Hell the first part of most of my conversations with my sisters or best friends usually starts with the gossip of all the people we know. But some of the bad gossip I hear stops with my lips. There is no reason to continue bad, negative and evil talk about people. Why even bring that kind of negative energy to yourself by letting your loose lips speak ill about others.

The definition of Gossip, according to dictionary.com:
As a noun:
- idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others
- light, familiar talk or writing.
- Also, gos·sip·er, gos·sip·per. a person given to tattling or idle talk.

As a verb (used without object)
- to talk idly, especially about the affairs of others; go about tattling.

Some of the definitions have been omitted because I am gossiping about gossip.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gossip

As I was researching my topic, I was looking for the image of the two sisters and came across a lot of painters who have interpreted "Las Chismosas" in their own way. It does take two to start gossip so there is always two in a print but some have more than two and have several in their artwork.





If you Google or bing, "Las Chismosas" you can see several images on the topic itself. I love the Spanish and Central American artist out there and their prints.

Before there were books and blogs, families had to pass their history through song and story telling. The elders would sit with the youth and re site their history about their ancestors. The stories would be told, retold and told again through many lips in order to keep your family history alive.

We still do that in our society, we tell stories about how our grand parents met, where they came, how they lived, where they were born, where they were raised and so forth. So not all gossip is evil. Like all history it begins with a one single word.

Malicious gossip has only one purpose to destroy lives, whether it is true or untrue. It can hurt. If you spread this kind of gossip than your sole purpose is to be evil, destructive and hateful. If you have nothing nice to say about one person and you find joy in trying to destroy others lives than you have to watch out because Karma is always listening.

Your evil snake tongue will one day get you in trouble. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but negative opinions that are spoken out loud can come back and bite you in the ass. I am guilty of this, what teenage girl isn't? I was spreading evil gossip as a youth and one day it caught up to me in violent way. The only one that got hurt in the long run was me.

Have I stopped speaking ill of others, well.....yes and no. Sometimes I just know if I open my mouth with the evil thoughts I am having I will get mine in the end. So instead, I keep them as thougths and do not share them with others. For that way it can not be spread for I try to live with the elementary theory of "If you have nothing nice to say, DON'T say anything at all." My thoughts are my thoughts and the only other person that hears them is me and God. For one day I will have to answer to him and than I can explain to him where I was coming from. Besides I do not need any negative energy coming to me. So I try to keep my unpleasant thougths to myself because as soon as I share them they can be spread as untrue rumors that were spoken by me and spread by others. I can not have that kind of negativity following me.

So to answer my question, Have I stopped speaking ill of others? Yes, I do not let my lips spread detrimental gossip of others. No, I can formulate my own opinion and keep it to myself.

Right before my husband and I made our way to the Sun City, my necklace broke. My two gossiping sisters broke. I was heartbroken because it was gifted to me by my Tia and it was something I held dear. But I also think it was a bit of a sign we came to a town of loose lips. It is hard not to get thrown into a snake pit as a scorpion misplaced in the dessert. I try not to let their snake tongues influence my life. I can formulate my own observations.

"Las Chismosas" necklace was my inspiration for this blog post and to this day I am upset it broke. Whether it broke to send me a message about my future or it broke because it fell, I will never know. I am a firm believer that "Things happen for a reason." and my husband has also placed the thought of "Loose Lips, Sink Ships."

LET THE GOSSIP BEGIN......Maybe. As long as every time you speak of someone in a good light than chit chat away. If you are one to speak ill of others than let your snake tongue bite your own ass.

Bed Hogging

When you finally find that one person to share your life with it comes with its ups and downs. Loving someone for their flaws and them loving you for yours.

Not only are you going to walk your life with someone hand in hand you must learn your pre-school education of sharing is caring. You have to share bathroom counter space, the television remote as well as the big one, THE BED!!

There are good things that come with sharing the bed, like mattress dancing. Now that is always fun. :)

But there are times when it seems like one partner is taking up all the room in bed. He or she is bed hogging, maybe not intentionally but it happens. When a man works all day being the bread winner of the family, sometimes his woman might need to remember the following. He is the one waking up before the sun comes up, commuting through traffic full of other half asleep men, working, driving back and coming home right before the sun goes down. So if he takes a majority of the bed than why even bitch?

Now if the lady is taking up the bed maybe the men in their lives need to remember the following. If there is children in the equation than she is running around after these little people. Loading and unloading and taking them where they need to go. Laundry, dishes and cleaning is an unending chore that is done daily, if you married the right woman that is. Having a different menu for the week so you don't get sick of just having hot dogs or spagetti every week for the rest of your life. That is a task on its own. So if she takes a majority of the bed than why even bitch?

At the end of the day, just remember that both of you are working just as hard to maintain a beautiful family. Everyone is doing their part and as long as someone gets a good night sleep to accomplish another day. And bed hogging will just be one of those little things one day you will miss when its been years of sharing and one of you has parted to the after life.